Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
