ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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