so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
