Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize