Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
