white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
