He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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