I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
