There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
