well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
