I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
