The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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