I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
