We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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