We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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