You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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