you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
