it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize