I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
