In America we eat man semen.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
That's how pantless uber rides happen
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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