Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
