I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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