Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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