I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
