It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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