still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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