After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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