its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
