On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
