wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
