I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
What drink are we having for lunch?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
