Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
