I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
