Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize