Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
