nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize