Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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