So drunk, too bad you don't want this
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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