You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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