How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
