'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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