That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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