My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
