I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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