Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
