if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
