The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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