1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
