You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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