They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
