you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
