i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
