My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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