There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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