its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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