There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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