I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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