I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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