My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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