At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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