Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
