just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
