Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
